I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. I certainly did! Bobby's entire family came out to stay with us in the Hamptons and it was cooking and eating all weekend long. Luann and I went to the Miracle House Benefit at the Bridgehampton Beach and Tennis Club with my good friend Lance Bass. We had the most amazing time and we even got to play some tennis without the cameras there! My adorable nieces were there and I recorded some of the cutest videos. I have been tweeting during the episodes so please follow me on Twitter if you don't already. If you do follow me, thank you! I love reading all of your messages. Without all of you, I wouldn't want to do the show. Though we give up certain things like privacy, we gain so much from each and every one of you and for that I am the most grateful. When I am sad, you make me laugh, when I am scared, you give me courage.
The one thing I miss about filming is our organized play dates. It was great getting together with Cindy, Kelly and Luann last week. We all share true friendships, on and off camera.
In tonight's episode you finally got to see the camel scene that you have been seeing in the previews. I didn't think too much about the camel ride until Sonja wouldn't go. Now I know why. Clearly they are not trained animals and even if they were there is always a risk. I was just happy Luann was strong enough to stay on the camel and not fall off! Luann is a lot braver than I am! Now onto Rameana.
Building up the courage to even talk to Ramona took a lot out of me. I have really tried to be a better listener and hoped to finally hear what I ever did to Ramona to make her act the way she does towards me. When she told me that she was holding on to a resentment about a sarcastic comment I made to someone at her renewal, "who could be married to Ramona"? or something like that, honestly I was surprised. If I got mad at every insulting thing Ramona or anyone else has said about me, I wouldn't have any friends. Ramona often says "I know I put my foot in my mouth sometimes" but yet she NEVER apologizes. I could bring up lots of petty things she has said about me and to me, but in life you need to let the small stuff go. I felt like we were in 3rd grade. "You said this about me and you said that." Honestly, Ramona needs to grow up and get some thicker skin. She can dish it out but can't take it. Ramona needs to decide on one thing. Does she want a friendship with me or not?
All I wanted from Ramona was an acknowledgement that she hurt me deeply and was sorry. That if she could redo that day on the island, she would have tried to help me make peace. I walked into the house that day holding Bobby's hand, with a smile on my face. What did they want me to do? Walk in screaming "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I would love to see her act out exactly how she wanted me to walk into the house according to her rules. Ramona changes the rules to suit her needs. She decides what is acceptable for one person but does not use the same rules for another. She is BEYOND the definition of a hypocrite. The difference is now I won't accept it and never will.
How can Ramona say I am not about feelings? I am all about feelings, in fact sometimes I sometimes feel to much and get hurt.
I'd like to address a few of the things Ramona has said about me recently. I am sad to say, Ramona is truly mean and likes to put people down rather than build people up. (Look at the way she treated the young ladies she interviewed earlier this season) She is also a LIAR. She thinks if she says something people will automatically think it is true and sometimes they do. Honestly, I usually don't care about what she is talking about, nor do most of you, but recently she has questioned my honesty and integrity. That is where I draw the line and must respond. One thing people know about me is that I tell the truth. Ramona is receiving a lot of negative attention due to her own actions and instead of listening and learning from watching herself behave so badly, she is striking back every chance she can. Not only at me, but towards Luann, Cindy and Kelly as well. The difference between us? I do root for the underdog, and Ramona? She likes to kick a dog when it's down. It's that simple. I used to think Ramona and I were just being brutally honest with each other but deep down, we respected each other. I never crossed the line by discussing things I knew about her and her family.
I realize now that Ramona has been using me to build herself up, but it is backfiring. Drinking and promoting alcohol in such an unhealthy way is a terrible image to present as a mother of a 16 year old. Ramona said she only drinks 1-2 glasses at dinner? Should I go back through the four years of tape and call out every time she drank without food? She is only lying to herself.
Most recently, Ramona accused me of lying about the sale of my house in the Hamptons, saying that I still pretended to own it. A few of my wonderful fans were also irked by these comments and sent me the following links and video that clearly show that I have never hid the fact that I sold my house, in fact I was proud of our sale. I am showing these to let Ramona know, just because you say it, it doesn't make it true and I will always answer the call when my integrity is questioned. I now have to think about whether there is anything left of our friendship to recover.
jillzarin.com March 16, 2010
Youtube.com clip from season 3
I will be on my sister Lisa Wexler's radio show Fridays between 4-6pm. Follow me on Twitter for exact time. You can call in at 203-845-3044 or listen from your computer at lisawexler.com
. If you miss it, you can download it later. Check out the guests she has on. VERY impressive! I am so proud of my sister!
is coming along great and I posted some of the new packaging ideas for your opinions. We are almost done! I love asking your opinions since I designed this for all of you. So many men have asked me for help that we are considering that for the future. Don't forget, I read all of my comments here at jillzarin.com so let me hear them.
All my Love,